Poetry Sunday: Limericks by Gary Johnson

And now, as the Pythons used to say, for something completely different. You can't get much more different than this and still call it poetry. Have a chuckle. 


by Gary Johnson

There was an old lady of Queens
Who survived on wieners and beans.
Wearing Army surplus,
Riding the bus,
And stealing from vending machines.

A misanthrope living in Raleigh
Believed human friendship was folly
But he did get it on
With a trumpeter swan
And was fond of a miniature collie.

An old fellow lived in St. James
Whose parents were in silver frames
And looked down from the wall
And if he swore at all,
Their pictures burst into flames.

An old fellow up in Two Harbors
No longer bothered with barbers.
He let his hair grow
Ten feet or so
And wore it on overhead arbors.


  1. Limericks are quite wonderful and not nearly so easy to compose as one might think. I usually get stuck coming up with the last line.

  2. love limericks; something elusively compelling about them...

  3. I really needed that laugh today. Thank you!

  4. Fun! I haven't read any limericks like this since I was a kid. :D

    1. They are not something one tends to read often, are they? But they are a nice break from more serious stuff.

  5. Ha, those are fun! I'm just imagining that hair in the last one.


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