Mrs. Everything by Jennifer Weiner: A review

I read this novel just after reading Elin Hilderbrand's Summer of '69 and found myself occasionally mixing the two up, ascribing one of Hilderbrand's characters to Weiner. No doubt both authors would have been appalled, but there are actually some common themes. Both books could be said to be "women's stories"; the main characters are all female and the essential thrust of the stories is about young women coming of age, about coming to accept oneself, and about women's empowerment. And both books were very, very good.

Mrs. Everything tells the story of two sisters, Josette (Jo) and Elisabeth (Bethie) Kaufman. We first meet them as they are children growing up in the 1950s in Detroit and we follow them as they end up at university in Ann Arbor during its hippie period. From there Jo moves on to the oppressive atmosphere of suburban Connecticut and Bethie makes her way to a feminist collective in Atlanta, but it is what happens to these young women to impel them on to these destinations that makes up the heart of the plot.

Growing up, Jo is the wild child and the rebel who is not understood by her mother but has a loving relationship with her father. Bethie is the mother's ideal of a daughter - pretty, popular, and acquiescent. Jo, in fact, is struggling with her sexual identity and, in her teens, accepts the fact that she is homosexual. Bethie, on the other hand, has a series of boyfriends.

Then, the girls' world is turned upside down. Their father dies unexpectedly. Their mother who has never worked outside the home and never had to manage anything more complicated than the housework must go to work to support the family. Jo also finds a job as a camp counselor that takes her away from home for the summer. While she is away, in the guise of aiding the family, their father's brother begins sexually abusing Bethie. As with many young sexual abuse victims, Bethie finds it impossible to explain to her overwhelmed mother what is happening. But then Jo comes home from camp and Bethie, through sobs, manages to tell her. They make a plan for dealing with the uncle and it works!

But this is a pattern that will be repeated in their lives - Jo coming to the rescue of her younger sister.

Jo falls in love with her best friend, but they are unable to live together as a couple because of prejudice against homosexuals. Each young woman marries a man and attempts to live a "normal" life.

Through these two sisters, Weiner is able to tell the history of the women's rights movement in the '60s, '70s, and later. She also is able to fully explore the sexual awakening of a woman who came of age during a time that identifying as a lesbian would ensure that she was only able to participate in society on the fringes. Weiner's descriptions of sex between two women are particularly vivid and affecting. The sacrifices of their essential natures that these women made in order to be accepted by society are almost incomprehensible.

The story continues right to the present and even a bit beyond, and it contains tropes that will be familiar to many women who have lived through this era. Not that all women have been sexually abused as a child or gang-raped as a young woman as Bethie was, but the societal attitudes regarding these and other occurrences will be instantly recognizable to others like me for whom the '60s, '70s, etc. may well be history but they are also part of our personal story.

I suppose Mrs. Everything is not a perfect book and a professional critic would probably find weaknesses to point out, but I was swept up in the two sisters' tale from the beginning. I laughed and cried and suffered angst right along with them, and I was sorry when I turned the last page.

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Poetry Sunday: Don't Hesitate by Mary Oliver

How about we share another Mary Oliver poem? After all, you can never have too many of those. In this one, the poet seems to acknowledge that it is often hard to simply live in and enjoy the moment, perhaps because we are afraid it can't last. She urges us to give in to that moment and fully experience the joy. Although "much can never be redeemed, still, life has some possibility left." Don't Hesitate by Mary Oliver If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is no...

Poetry Sunday: Blackberry-Picking by Seamus Heaney

My mother was a farm wife and a prodigious canner. She canned fruit and vegetables from the garden, even occasionally meat. But the best thing that she canned, in my opinion, was blackberry jam. Even as I type those words my mouth waters! Of course, before she could make that jam, somebody had to pick the blackberries. And that somebody was quite often named Dorothy. I think Seamus Heaney might have spent some time among the briars plucking those delicious black fruits as well, so he would have known that "Once off the bush the fruit fermented, the sweet flesh would turn sour." They don't keep; you have to get that jam made in a hurry! Blackberry-Picking by Seamus Heaney Late August, given heavy rain and sun For a full week, the blackberries would ripen. At first, just one, a glossy purple clot Among others, red, green, hard as a knot. You ate that first one and its flesh was sweet Like thickened wine: summer's blood was in it Leaving stains upon the tongue and lust ...

Poetry Sunday: Hymn for the Hurting by Amanda Gorman

You probably remember poet Amanda Gorman from her appearance at the inauguration of President Biden. She read her poem "The Hill We Climb" on that occasion. After the senseless slaughter in Uvalde this week, she was inspired to write another poem which was published in The New York Times. It seemed perfect for the occasion and so I stole it in order to feature it here, just in case you didn't get a chance to read it in the Times . Hymn for the Hurting by Amanda Gorman Everything hurts, Our hearts shadowed and strange, Minds made muddied and mute. We carry tragedy, terrifying and true. And yet none of it is new; We knew it as home, As horror, As heritage. Even our children Cannot be children, Cannot be. Everything hurts. It’s a hard time to be alive, And even harder to stay that way. We’re burdened to live out these days, While at the same time, blessed to outlive them. This alarm is how we know We must be altered — That we must differ or die, That we must triumph or try. ...

The Nature of Things

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